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Preplanning your funeral brings you peace of mind knowing that your final wishes will be followed as you would want and that the financial aspects will be covered. Putting plans in place now means you get to make important choices for yourself, but it is also one of the greatest gifts you can give loved ones. Rather than feeling burdened at the time of death, they can focus on their journey through grief. Our funeral home has a Preplanning Specialist on staff whose job it is to guide individuals and families through the preplanning process. Right now, we are faced with unique circumstances, but the current pandemic does not mean we have stopped providing the valuable service of helping people plan ahead. We have simply become more flexible and creative. If you are interested in putting final arrangements in place, we are happy to do so in a way that meets you at your comfort level. We understand there are many individuals who would prefer to visit about preplanning in person, so we are currently still offering to meet at the funeral home while following social distancing and other Department of Health guidelines. We can also meet with you outdoors. For those who are interested in utilizing technology, we can conduct an entire prearrangement conference by phone and/or video conferencing. Forms can be signed electronically via email, or we can stop by your home to safely obtain the required signatures. Call us at the funeral home if you have questions or if you would like to set up a preplanning meeting you are comfortable with. Keep an eye out for our upcoming preplanning seminars and events, which might be held online. For more information about preplanning, you can also visit our website.

If you have lost a loved one, writing in a journal can be one of the most powerful ways to cope and work toward healing. It encourages you to express and explore the myriad of emotions that accompany grief. Rather than avoiding the reality of the death and extending the grieving process, journaling encourages introspection, which is important in accepting loss and creating a sense of peace. You might not even realize what you are feeling until you sit down to write about it. There are many mental health benefits of journaling, including reducing stress and coping with anxiety or depression. Journaling provides a healthy outlet when emotions feel overwhelming, which can be common while grieving. Practicing gratitude also helps you focus on the positives in life, so writing about what you are grateful for can provide perspective when times might feel shadowed by your grief. One of the best parts about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to do it, and you never even have to let anyone see your work. Sometimes the words will flow out of you without much thought and other times you might feel a bit stuck. Below is a list of grief journaling prompts you can use for inspiration whenever you need it. Make a list of your favorite things you did with your loved one. Make another list of what you wish you would’ve done. Explain how you are honoring the memory of your loved one in your daily life. Tell about the people you have in your support system. Pick a color that represents how you are feeling today and explain why. Write about the memories of your loved one that seem to be most heavy on your mind. Make a list of what you are grateful for today. Retell the last moments you remember being with your loved one. Write a letter to your loved one about what you have been doing to stay busy lately. Answer these questions to consider how your grief is impacting your activities: What is the hardest time of day for you and why? What is the hardest day of the week for you and why? During which daily activities do you find yourself in the densest fog of grief? During which daily activities do you find your mind wandering away from your grief? What has been your hardest day so far?

Having a service or gathering to remember and honor a life lived is an extremely vital part of the grieving process. It is a chance for loved ones to say goodbye, and it also provides an opportunity for friends, family, coworkers, and community members to offer necessary comfort and reassurance. However, there are currently restrictions on gatherings, and society is encouraged to stay home as much as possible because of the COVID-19 pandemic. As a result, you might need to get a bit more creative in order to express sympathy and offer support to those grieving. This period of uncertainty might also be particularly trying for those who have lost a loved one in the past. If their loved one’s birthday or anniversary of death falls during this time, it might feel additionally lonely and sad due to social distancing and the already overwhelming current conditions. Many of the ideas listed below can be used to show you are thinking of these individuals who are facing difficult days as well. Get Creative with Communication Sending a sympathy card in the mail is currently still a viable option, but there are also many ways to use technology to let the family know you are sorry for their loss and thinking of them even though you cannot be there in person. Send a heartfelt text or set up a time to video conference. When it comes to social media, follow the lead of the family; if they have posted about their loved one’s death already, then it is appropriate to comment with your condolences. There are a couple of ways to offer your sympathies and connect through our funeral home website. As always, you can view tribute videos and use our condolences page to leave a message for the family. In addition, we have created HeartStrings, an option for you to upload a photo and add a note to the family that will be printed and posted in an area for them to see and/or placed in a guest book. You can also view a live stream or recording of the service when available. Specific details regarding these options can be found on the individual’s obituary page. For the message itself, simply expressing your sympathy will be appreciated by the family. But if you knew the deceased individual well, taking the time to share photos and memories is more personal and might help provide the family with a deeper sense of comfort right now. Think of it like giving a virtual hug. Have Flowers or a Meal Delivered Depending on what is available at the time, you might still be able to place an order for flowers to be delivered to the funeral home for the private service or to the family’s residence. Flowers are a beautiful way to show you care and bring a bit of hope to a challenging time. Another related idea is having a meal delivered to the family in the days following the death of their loved one, which can help alleviate stress and provide a bit of simple comfort. During the current pandemic, purchase food to be delivered rather than bringing a homecooked meal. Many restaurants have adopted creative methods to ensure safe practices and limit in-person contact. Just be sure you make arrangements with the family in advance for any delivery option, especially so that proper safety guidelines can be maintained. Also, consider letting them know they don’t need to write you a thank-you. That way they can focus on themselves and their healing. Make a Donation Now more than ever, perhaps one of the most meaningful ways to honor someone who has passed is to make a donation in their name. You could make a contribution to COVID-19 response efforts, but you can also still opt for a personal route such as an organization related to the individual’s interests or a charity they supported. Send the family a message to let them know where you have donated to in memory of their loved one. Visit the Gravesite Gathering restrictions still apply at the burial site, but you could consider visiting the grave on your own. To be safe, refrain from touching the marker or any of the arrangements. Let the family know you were there. They will appreciate knowing that you were thinking of them and that you took the time to pay your respects to their loved one. Follow Up Later Write yourself a note or put a reminder in your phone to connect with those who are grieving again at a later date when the pandemic subsides or once the social distancing guidelines end. It will still be just as important to offer your support at that time. 

Pets have a special way of providing happiness and comfort, and many people consider them beloved members of their family. If you are facing the loss of a pet, know that it is perfectly acceptable to grieve however you need to. It will likely take time to get used to life without your animal companion. Some people might not understand the value or depth of your relationship with your pet, but there are many, many pet owners who do. Seek out support from others who can relate. Losing a pet can be especially challenging for children. They become accustomed to feeling unconditional love from what is often one of their closest friends, so the grief they experience is very real. It is important to be honest but also sensitive about the situation. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and give them plenty of time to heal before rushing to bring home a new pet. Reading a book about losing a pet will also help them understand what has happened and reassure them it is OK to be sad. For children and adults alike, it can be helpful to have some sort of service or memorial, even if that means simply gathering the family together for a few minutes so that each person can choose a photo of the pet to frame. It encourages everyone to remember all of the good times spent with their pet and feel comfort in knowing those memories will always be held close to their hearts. 

Memorialization Matters

Can you still have a service if you choose cremation? Yes, participating in a service or gathering is actually a vital part of the healing process. Direct cremation, without any type of service or memorialization, may extend the grief process. In no way does choosing cremation limit the possibilities for creating a meaningful, personalized tribute to honor, remember, and celebrate the life lived. Is it possible to have a viewing when choosing cremation? Yes, families can still have a public or private viewing prior to the cremation. Many people choose to have a visitation and funeral with the embalmed body present before it is cremated. Besides providing an opportunity for final goodbyes, a viewing helps loved ones recognize the reality of the death and begin their journey through grief. What are some of the options for cremated remains?  The increasingly creative possibilities for cremated remains are nearly endless. Besides being placed in personalized urns, they can be incorporated into jewelry, set in a garden sculpture, or even suspended in glass. For a more traditional route, cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery, just as a casket would be, or placed in a columbarium there. If the family wishes to scatter the ashes, funeral professionals will often encourage apportionment, which means the cremated remains are divided, so that some can be used for a more permanent memorialization option. This gives loved ones an important physical marker of the individual’s life and legacy, now and for generations to come. Is direct cremation the only option for those with financial constraints? No, there is a wide variety of funeral service options for every budget. Funeral service professionals can help families create a meaningful, individualized tribute at a price they’re comfortable with, even when opting for cremation.

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